Well, it’s that time of year again. You’ve most likely been totally annoyed by your family in some form or another. You’ve consumed way too many rich dishes and possibly gallons of alcohol. Not to mention the stress of it all, travel, delays, gifting, etc. There it is. It’s almost done. The year will be new. Turn over the Calendar and make your list of New Year’s resolutions that will most likely fail. Not to be a Negative Nelly or anything, but New Year’s resolutions have always sort of lacked something for me. Like, why would I resolve to quit something or be better somehow right now, at the beginning of the year if I’m not really ready? It’s doomed to fail, right? DOOMED, doooooooooooomed!
I think humans already have a hard time with commitment. We tend to get resentful of it at some point. We make these hard line vows that shall not be broken, neglecting to factor in the ever constant change of life, ideas, circumstances. We are hard wired to adapt and grow and yet, some of us decide to dig our heels in and not budge come hell or high water. We make commitments to quit eating junk food or lose weight. When we don’t adhere to those goals strictly, we beat ourselves up often causing the very cycle that we want to change.
This year, for myself, I think I just want to be good to myself and the people around me. Whatever that turns out to be. If being good to myself means waking up earlier to work out or do yoga and eat a great breakfast, then great! That is good for me and the people around me because it keeps my body strong and helps me not be stressed out. Which, in turn, benefits the people around me. I feel good, and I’m mentally and emotionally calm.
Being good to myself sometimes means curling up in my bed with my dog and crying my eyes out, screaming and punching pillows. It benefits me by cleansing my soul, relieving the burden that so many of us carry around all the time. We live in a crazy stressful world. There are horrible things happening all around us everywhere and sometimes we just need to weep for the world and ourselves. It benefits those around me because I’m not carrying this built up grief, sadness and anger which could explode all over them. Being good to others could just be sitting with a friend and listening. Just listening to what they need to let go of. Not offering advise, or solutions. Most of the time, people will figure it out on their own if given the chance to talk through something. Often times when you try to offer advise or solutions, they will make excuses or bat all the ideas away because they are in a negative space. Let them work through it, just be supportive and EMPATHETIC. There is a difference between empathy and sympathy. I’ve always found this video helpful.
My advise for the year? Be kind and good to yourself and others. Take care of yourself. At the end of the day, just don’t be a dick. We have enough of that. If you need help, find this book. It’s pretty great.
Happy New Year everyone!